2 Sentences You Don’t Want to Hear … Together!

I forget most of the conversation between a trout fisherman and me, but I remember two sentences quite well.

He said, “I’m pissed.”

Then he said, “I’ve got a pistol.”

Oh, great! A pissed-off, pistol-packing person. Now how am I supposed to respond to that?

Let me give you the rest of the story.

On the nicest day in a week, I picked up the Collins girls (my friends’ two labs) and took Penny and them out to the country for a romp. Upon arrival at the county park, we discovered a trout fisherman working the creek. No big deal.

Dogs and water belong together.

I exchanged a few pleasantries with him then took the dogs up into the hills away from the creek. A half hour later, I neared the creek but walked to the far side of the meadow so as not to disturb him. Unfortunately for the humans involved, the girls wanted a swim.

He asked, “How long have they been in the creek?”

I said, “They’ve been in and out as we’ve walked.”

That’s when he offered the above responses. That’s also when I called all the louder for the dogs to come to me.

Let me make something very clear. I did something I’ve done multiple times—take the dogs to the county park. They did what they normally do—romp, play, and swim. I didn’t intentionally, maliciously, or knowingly try to ruin the guy’s day. I came to enjoy a beautiful day’s hike with three energetic dogs.

Then the exchange happened.

And I felt bummed. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

I came expecting to have a good time with the girls and I did have a wonderful time. Until …

“I’m pissed.”

“I’ve got a pistol.”

I remember reading about a teenage girl who came to church in a tank top and tight jeans. She came hungry to know God. She came to worship Him and be a part of His people. For her, entering the church was a risky, courageous business. She had no family encouragement and had grown up outside church circles.

A member of the church approached her and said, “How can you come to church dressed like that? Don’t you respect God?”


I know how that young woman felt.

Excited upon arrival.

Ashamed upon departure.

Allow me to make some suggestions.

Watch for the wanderer. Scripture is filled with wandering souls. An old man and his wife depart for an unknown country. A servant seeks a wife for his master. A young man visits relatives he’s never known. A nation travels across the wilderness. Crowds follow Jesus into the country side.

Welcome the weird. In each of the above scenes, the wanderers were people not known among the locals. And upon arrival, they needed something—food, drink, lodging, guidance. And someone provided for their needs.

By God’s grace and wisdom, I pray you and I, living among the faithful and worshiping in community, will be that someone.

Instead of two sentences to dread, I offer you two words to embrace.



I’m curious. What has someone said or done to make you feel welcome within a church? How might you welcome others?

Top 3 posts in the last 7 days:

I Bet You Stop the Story Too Soon

Can Angels Be Christian?

My Novel “Dark Eyes, Deep Eyes” Debuts

You can find Dark Eyes, Deep Eyes at:

WestBow Press


Barnes & Noble

“Dark Eyes, Deep Eyes” visits Melissa and her Culver’s crew who hosted my first book signing.

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About tnealtarver

I've traveled and spoken around the world but always love to come home. There I eat exceptional meals, drink coffee to my heart's content, and get loved like nowhere else on earth. I believe a community centered in Christ should be all that and so much more.
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4 Responses to 2 Sentences You Don’t Want to Hear … Together!

  1. Kari Scare says:

    We have several people in our church who go out of their way to make people feel welcome, especially those who don’t easily fit in socially for whatever reason. They are terrific examples. Our church is known for loving others, and we have a reputation for making people feel welcome. Has nothing to do with me since this is an area of weakness for me, but I love that I’m in a group of people regularly who can teach me about being more welcoming. So, I might not be great at welcoming others, but I am learning and getting better at it by watching those who do it so well.

  2. tnealtarver says:

    Kari, your comment brings two specific things to mind. First, I’m miserly. My wife Ellen is generous. So I do a lot of watching her then following her example. That’s why community, in my book, rocks. We hang out with people who have strengths and talents we don’t. And we learn from them.

    The second thought? You may find yourself quoted in my next post because your comment dovetails so well into what I’m writing.

    • Kari Scare says:

      My husband also sets a terrific example for me, and I rely on him so much to help me be more friendly and welcoming. I am an introvert surrounded by extroverts (my husband included), but they are so good at getting me to connect more with community. Definitely help me learn.

      I look forward to reading your next post!

  3. Pingback: 3 Smart Lessons I’ve Learned from Dumb Mistakes | A Curious Band of Others

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